Why Am I So Miserable?

Heaven Knows I Am Miserable Now
This is not a statement of fact and instead merely a title that I believe is more likely to drag people in from Google – well at least I am honest! That being said, this is a blog post designed to address a plight that so many people suffer from – misery. There was a time when I was really miserable and I allowed far too much time to pass me by, before I asked the question WHY?

In a recent blog post The 5 Whys I outlined the process of identifying root cause as created by Sakichi Toyoda the founder of Toyota Industries. I mentioned in that post how I like to use business principles in my own personal life. I believe that personal continuous improvement is key to living a fulfilling life, and the 5 Why process will help you do that.

Extreme hopes are born from extreme misery – Bertrand Russell

In my blog post Why Am I Here? I wrote about a time in my life when I was quite miserable. I had just joined the Jack Canfield Success Principles coaching programme and to help me understand why I was on this earth, my coach asked me to write a list of things that made me happy.

I have been trying to help someone get through quite a tough period in their life and I remembered this exercise. I  how different it would have been if I had instead asked myself what it was that was making me miserable instead of what was making me happy? Thinking about that concept then got me thinking about Toyoda and the 5 Whys. I know a lot of miserable people, and I have an inkling that they don’t even know what it is that is making them miserable in the first place. People don’t like being miserable because it makes them miserable, so I think it would be a great idea to create a process for destroying misery and I am talking root cause and not symptom here.

I am going to create a list of things that make me miserable and then in future posts I am going to go through the Five Whys to ascertain root cause before finding remedies and enacting positive change.

The List of Misery

1. When my face erupts in acne it makes me miserable.

2. When the internet is sub-standard and I am working at a poker tournament.

3. When I argue with my ex wife.

4. When my son doesn’t return my text messages or phone calls.

5. When my son chooses to spend time with his friends instead of me.

6. When my belly looks too big.

7. Lack of sleep.

8. When I have lost money playing poker.

9. When I think people don’t believe I am doing a good job.

10. Working in sub-standard conditions.

11. Socialising with people who are drunk.

12. Socialising with a lot of people who are smoking.

13. Not having a lot of money.

14. Listening to people I care about who are arguing.

15. Worrying that I am not a good partner for my girlfriend.

16. My divorce process

17. Not being able to see my son whenever I like.

18. Knowing that I work away from home a lot, therefore reducing the time I can spend with my son.

19. Not being able to see my girlfriend whenever I want

20. Making people I care about sad because of the things I say or the way I behave.

What makes you miserable? Write out your own list and share it with us


The inspiration to write this blog post has come from someone who has asked me to help them re-ignite a spark in their life. This person finds that they are miserable a lot and wants to be happier. I decided to share this list with you and then go through my own process of improvement in the hope it creates inspiration for me to help this other person.

Photo courtsey of Bjornmeansbear (cc @ flickr.com)

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