Do you remember the question I asked you to ponder yesterday?
“Where does your worldview come from?”
You’ve got it. Simple really wasn’t it?
Your worldview comes from the biases, values and beliefs of the most influential people in your life.
They come from your parents, teachers, bosses and society in general.
Birds of a feather flock together and all of that nonsense.
Further back in this series I spoke about the need to identify limiting beliefs. I wanted you to start journaling and to start asking yourself the specific question.
“Did I experience a limiting belief today?”
Look back through that data and what do you see? Do you see a lot of people’s names because when I look that’s what I see.
Nearly all of your limiting beliefs will centre on a discussion, or thought, about another person. In Lean Life I refer to people who touch our lives as customers, and how we interact with customers is vital.
In the brilliant book by Malcolm Gladwell called ‘Blink‘ he talks about a process called ‘Thin Slicing,’ which is the act of making decisions and assumptions based on very brief moments of interaction. It’s also something that Seth Godin alludes to in the book that started this all in the first place.
Let me give you an example.
During my time working on the railway I once posted an external advert to employ two Shunters. I received nearly a hundred applications.
I eventually drew up a short list of 10 applicants through a very quick and simple process that proves how important first impressions are even without even physically meeting someone.
The application form said to write in black, so all people who failed to do this went into the bin. Next if you had scruffy handwriting you were out of the door. Finally, anybody who had bothered to add superfluous appendices to the application was given additional brownie points for effort.
When it came down to the personal face-to-face interviews, I found that I was making my decision before the applicant had even sat down. I remember saying to myself, “too tall, too short, too old, too skinny,” and on and on.
So why is this important?
Jim Rohn believes we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
If you believe that your limiting beliefs come from your worldview and that your worldview comes from the biases, values and beliefs of your parents, teachers, family and friends, then whom you spend time with is imperative.
Simply put, if you spend your time with highly successful people who do not have any limiting beliefs then you are going to be the average of that.
If you spend your time surrounded with people who have very limiting beliefs then you will be the average of that.
Now imagine that you were the type of person who displays a ‘you get what you see’ attitude when you meet someone who has shunned limiting beliefs. Do you think they are going to be attracted to that?
If you want to attract wonderful people into your life – and you should – then you need to be wonderful yourself. Remember you receive whatever you put out into the world. Be aware of thin slicing. Be aware that people are thin slicing when they meet you, and that you are also doing likewise when you meet other people.
A mistake I see all too often with my clients is turning authenticity into an almost aggressive attitude, when quite the reverse is needed. I like the term authentic diplomacy.
How you interact with your customers is a key ingredient to eradicating limiting beliefs, because if you meet the wrong people then you are more likely to develop more limiting beliefs, or find a partner who helps reaffirm the ones you already own.
We cover this, in depth, during the Lean Life coaching course and have a lot of fun with it; but if that’s not for you then why not try this tip out for size.
Write a list of all of the people you spend the most time with. Then go down the list and place a + or – next to the each of them with a + indicating that they have positive beliefs, and a – next to them if they have negative beliefs.
Look at that list. What does it tell you?
Now your plan is to stop spending time with those that have a – next to their name and instead spend more time with people who have a + next to their name.
Once you start doing this you will automatically meet more people with +’s next to their name.
Think about this…
What does the man or woman of your dreams look like?
Do you think they complain about the price of a tin of baked beans? Do you think they hang a grey cloud over your thoughts and ideas? Be honest with yourself.
Start thinking about your customers with increased acuity. Don’t spend your time with just anyone. Spend your time with the people who are going to help you remove limiting beliefs from your life because this is what will make you happy.
Actually…it’s not and I will tell you why when we conclude this series tomorrow.
Photo courtesy of Pop!Tech cc @ flickr.com