Seth Godin describes the term Worldview as:
“The rules, values, beliefs and biases that an individual consumer brings to a situation.”
If you want to remove limiting beliefs in order to find true happiness (which is why I am writing this after all), then you need to learn about Worldview.
Yesterday, I left you hanging when I ended the article with an important conversation I had with my seven-year-old son. A conversation that helped me deal with my limiting belief that there was no such thing as God, which in turn stopped me believing that meditation and EFT techniques were nothing more than fabrications of value.
My conversations with my son are always short and sweet. I ask a million questions and he gives me a million one word replies.
To counter this, when he was younger, I created a process that I now recognise as the ‘check-in,’ and it worked like a dream. It’s something that I teach during my Lean Life course.
The rules of the game were simple. I would describe my day in graphic detail whilst placing specific emphasis on my emotional states. During this time my son wasn’t allowed to talk and instead had to listen.
Then once I had finished we swapped places and he did the same while I listened.
Suddenly, the one-word answers turned into a wonderful flow of dialogue that I used to look forward to more than episodes of the X Files.
Seven year olds lives are more interesting than you think!
On this particular occasion it was close to Christmas when my son starts to deliver his check-in. He tells me that his friend and him had been talking about the existence of Santa Claus.
As much as it pained them to admit it, they had come to the conclusion that he didn’t exist and he laid out the reasons why.
- It was physically impossible for him to get around the world in one night
- They had never seen a flying sledge in their life
- There was an electric fire at the bottom of our chimney, meaning he would actually have to break-in to the house to leave presents and this was technically breaking and entering making Santa a lawbreaker!
- If Santa was real, then why did Uncle Joey always dress up as him during the Con Club Christmas disco?
“So Dad, you have always said you would answer any question I asked. Is there a Father Christmas?”
I always thought a conversation about sex was going to be the one to turn my lips into jelly, but instead it was Santa.
I had seconds to act….
His eyes filled with saline…
His mouth dropped…
I opened my mouth….
“Ask your mother.”
All children believe in Santa Claus. This is their worldview. All adults know it is just a story. This is their worldview.
I am a recovering alcoholic. I have a very dim view on alcohol. I believe that alcohol offers you zero benefits. Not a single one. That is my worldview.
Now if I choose to impress my worldview on an alcoholic what do you think is going to happen during that conversation?
Full blow argument.
People will fight tooth and nail to defend their worldview. I have seen it with alcohol, I seen it with Santa Claus and I have seen it with my sons fried eggs, my little nephews bananas, and Heston Blumenthal’s menu at the Fat Duck.
So what does worldview have to do with removing limiting beliefs in order to achieve happiness?
The answer lies in another question that I want you to ponder overnight.
Where did our worldview come from?
By the way…you probably thought I was being a smart arse when I told my son to ask his mother whether there was a Santa Claus or not?
Well I was…but it didn’t work out.
My son just looked at me with those eyes…the kind that melts your heart, and he knew instantly.
“There is no Santa Claus is there Dad?” He said.
What was I supposed to do?
I didn’t know he would tell all of his classmates that I had confirmed that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny were all stories we created to make children happy.
Our check-in went much deeper than I originally anticipated!
I also didn’t prepare myself for schoolteachers and parents ringing me in anger because their child had come home from school crying their eyes out.
Live and learn I say…
A few weeks later and we were in the bath again. Christmas was just around the corner and my son was super excited.
“Dad?” He asked.
“I know there is no such thing as Father Christmas…but…can I believe that he exists. It makes Christmas more fun?”
“Of course you can.”
His face lit up, he smiled, and I realised in that moment, that a seven-year-old boy was capable of changing his beliefs just by making a different choice.
So what was I capable of?
Photo courtesy of Shawn Collins cc @ flickr.com