There are two types of complainers: those that are just mere acquaintances and those that you love. The first bunch is easy to deal with. You just move as far away from them as possible. Pick them off and let them shrivel up and die. Don’t provide them with any attention, and they will eventually run off and infect someone else.
The second category of snivelers does present a problem, but luckily, not an insurmountable one. The problem is created through love. They are either close friends or family (often family) – and we care about them. It’s this love that produces inauthenticity. It could be your mother, for example. She fixes you a brew and proceeds to tell you how much your father is really getting on her wick. After fifteen minutes of Daddy bashing it’s onto the increase in the price of alcohol and how the new Coalition Government don’t have a clue what they are doing. You sit there like a nodding dog. You don’t know what to say? If you disagree, the conversation dives headlong into the abyss. If you agree then you are compounding your own inauthenticities. In reality, you just want to leave.
Have you noticed how the snivelers and the complainers are always sick? Not life threatening issues but the more monotonous and staid kind. Colds, sniffles, and bad bellies; aches, pains and muscle injuries. Always complaining that something is wrong with them. Negativity begets negativity. If you want to be ill then just run your mouth off every day about how shit everything is, and you will soon get what you want.
There is a great story in the book Healing Back Pain by John E.Sarno. There is a woman who is a keen meditator and she has the chicken pox virus injected into her arm. Having already been exposed to the virus she developed the usual immune reaction, which is a bump that vanishes after a few days. She was then asked to try and stop the normal reaction from occurring through meditation. She practised her art and for the next few weeks the bump grew smaller and smaller. The experiment was then repeated and she was told not to meditate and the bump was back to its original size.
The moral of the story is this. If you want to feel shit then keep on telling yourself that life is shit. Keep acting in a miserably whiny way and miserable whiny things will keep happening to you. On the other hand, if you want a great and happy life, then cheer up a bit. Happiness is addictive, and obviously great for the soul. Stop complaining and if those around you keep on doing it then politely tell them that you would rather talk about something else. Develop a new habit to stop encouraging the whiners through your stony silence. Don’t let the abuse infiltrate your ears. Don’t let the snivelers drag you down.
Photo Courtesy of aturkus (CC $ Flickr.com)