I often wonder if shy, retiring people have a shy and retiring brain? I talk an incredible amount of bollocks, and so does my brain, so perhaps the reverse is true? For years, I have tried to find the switch, but to no avail. It doesn’t matter what I do, the voice still keeps on jabbing away. Sometimes it comes up with the most amazing ideas, other times it creates the most disgusting, shallow, serial killer type thoughts – but most of the time it just spouts nonsense.
These days my relationship with my brain is stronger than ever. I have started to pay it a lot of attention, and I think it really appreciates it. The thoughts that belong in a Quentin Tarantino movie are largely repressed, and we genuinely have conversations about how each of us is feeling. There exists a deeper connection than ever before, and I think it’s because we’ve both gone through a lot of shit together. My brain helps me, by revealing most of my problems, but there are still some things he likes to keep stowed away underneath its rusty padlock. Repressed so I don’t get stressed.
It’s important that I understand everything that is going on inside my mind. I have found that this is the best way for me to operate. Not only do I prosper, but also the people who come into contact with me. I am slowly getting this point across to my brain, and to be fair its level of understanding is improving; but every now and then it gets a little selfish. Upon reflection, I understand that it’s trying to protect me. I guess it loves me, but will never tell me so. So once in a while I have to shout at it and put it in it’s place. To create a greater awareness I often do this aloud. It’s funny because people think I’m nuts when they see me telling myself to shut up. Maybe they have a point – but it works for me.
I imagine that our brains are all very different. Some need a good shouting at and others will open up like the petals of a summer bloom after a little love and tenderness. Mine needs a good old-fashioned bollocking. Sometimes it creates pain in areas of my body just to take my focus away from my emotions. When this happens I have taught myself to create confrontation. I go to war. I tell it that I am in charge and that I demand to see my emotions. Reveal them in their full nakedness. I am not scared. Show me the blood. If I persist then it cannot resist. Slowly my emotions are revealed to me and I deal with them. The pain subsides and our conversations continue in a more merry tone.
Have you learned to come to peace with the other voice in your head? What tactics do you use to deal with it without going insane?
Photo courtesy of cheerfulmonk