I have realised that my heart has been closed for a very long time. Encased in a tomb that even Indiana Jones would struggle to find. I am beginning to understand why I am the way that I am. Awareness is showering me with light. I look at myself in the mirror and am more than familiar with the reflection. I have been so unkind, so unloving, so desperate to protect myself that I have failed to allow love to grow. The ground that I have covered has been arid and desolate. The roots of love could not get a grip. Arable land was a dream, a figment of my imagination.
I have found someone special and I treated her in the only way I knew how. I reached into my skill set and dragged my relationship skills out by their hair. I put them into good use. Proud I was. I thought that I had the gift of the gab. I knew how to make a woman feel special. But then when I had her in my arms and she looked into my eyes, she could see me for the fraud that I was. I smile as I write. Smiling at the cleverness of the woman that I love. She knows who I am. She almost knows me better than I know myself.
I have to give up my power. I need not be afraid. I want to share my power with her. My Liza. My woman. My love. Take it. Lets pull. Feel the strength – a tug of war with no victor. Just strength. Power shared by two people – the power of a truly wonderful relationship; the power of love. The door to my tomb is open. The light reaches in and my tomb blows away like dust in the wind. There it is. My heart. Open to the elements, vulnerable and in danger. But to anyone else all they see is the tomb. Like an optical illusion, only you can see this perfect pump. Only you can hurt me now.
I understand that I need to become vulnerable in order for our love to grow, to experience love like never before. I am prepared to suffer. I am ready to let love rule. I am seeking commitment and I am handing my commitment to you. I am ready to connect. I want to pull you inward, hold you, merge with you, become one, the very best of both of us.
It won’t be plain sailing. The wind will change course and catch us off guard occasionally. But as long as we have understanding and empathy we can work through anything. Each mistake, each screw-up, each set back makes us stronger. Each time we repair and move on – we become stronger – and the best part is we are doing it together.
So NeedyHelper readers, as you can tell, this week I have opened my heart, and if you want an intimate and loving relationship, then I invite you do so too.