Pick of the Week – F.E.A.R

Chaos inside

For Every Man A Religion – Ian Brown

So what has been going on in the life of the Needy Helper, this past week? I have been recovering from my vacation. That’s right, I am the type of person who needs a vacation to recover from his vacation. I spent a truly wonderful time in Florida, bonding with my son, and have found it somewhat difficult to get back into the swing of things. I also found myself hopelessly addicted to Breaking Bad, and spent far too much time sat in front of the TV screen, but I was comforted by the thought that it was actually homework for a writing project I am in the midst of. Excuses, excuses. But there has been one important happening this week. Someone who is very close to me has been consumed by fear, and so that is my chosen topic.

The analysis of fear is not a very common process. People feel fear, but they don’t spend enough time evaluating what lies at the root of what’s stopping them from making the leap across the chasm. Once people actually spend time going through root cause, the chasm closes up until it is a mere step across a tiny gap. You see, at the root of most cases of fear, is the worry that you will not be able to cope. As soon as you realise that you will be able to cope, the sooner the fear will dissipate.

A great way of getting on top of fear is to heighten your awareness. Let me give you an example from my own life. I was 11-years old when my parents told me that I was going to have to move from England to Wales. I was going to have to leave all of my friends behind and start fresh in a new country. I felt fear of rejection, not being a success, loneliness, helplessness, failure and change. It was a horrendous time for me, and I cried myself to sleep innumerable times. In true Michael Stipe style – it was the end of the world, as I knew it. I was not going to cope and my life would end.

I am now aware that I did, in fact, cope rather well. It was tough, and I had to go through a lot of struggle, but I coped. The world did not end, and my old friends were replaced with new. I recently interviewed a young professional poker player called Andrew Moseley, who told me that when he was very young his parents moved him to numerous different countries. Aware of the fear I faced when my parents decided to move me, I asked him how the changes, and the fear, had affected him? Moseley told me that the moves had made him a more socially confident young man. He felt fear at the time, but the moves had been good to him, because he now possessed life skills he would not have gained without being exposed to fear.

Facing fear is something that human beings have to live with, and raising awareness is the first step to understanding. Realising that you have been through it all before, and have come out of the other side a better person, is a truly wonderful way of helping you to deal with your latest installment. Fear is nothing but a lack of faith, and lying just beyond fear is the sweet song of success. A greater awareness can lead to renewed faith, which in turn leads to action. If you really want to remove the fear, then have faith and take action. It’s simple really. By doing the thing that you fear, the fear will just disappear.

Photo courtesy of h.koppdelaney (CC @ Flickr.com)


  1. How true it is that so much of fear is an exaggeration of the probability of disaster. Life will go on pretty much as it always has.

    • Not only will life always go on much as it always as, but you will be a lot wiser from your fearful experience.

  2. Ahhh so simple. But when caught in a spiral of fear and anxiety, sound thinking often alludes us. What should be simple (overcoming fear) feels impossible.
    But, I agree. I have found it helpful to analyze where exactly my fear is coming from. As a woman of faith, I seek God’s wisdom, esp. when it is hard for me to see. What is the root cause of my fear? When I can pinpoint what I’m actually feeling anxiety over, it’s usually smaller than my feelings make it out to be. This allays my fears.
    Good advice, Lee.

    • Hi Peggi,

      This is what I was talking about. The lack of ability to stop time dead in its tracks and step back and take a look at yourself. I think it is all about taking action. The more times you face your fears the more aware of the process you become and the easier it gets.

      Thanks for commenting as always.


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