Not a stubbed toe type of hurt
I’m talking a football booted into your bollocks from a few feet sort of hurt.
The deceitful little so and so; and yet you have to admire the man for having the foresight to see that had he wrote ‘quit’ on the front of that book, he wouldn’t have saved as many lives as he did.
The ‘Just One’ dilemma affects two types of people, and the advice that will duly follow relates to them both.
1. The person who believes they have their drinking under control
2. The person who has recently quit and believes they have their drinking under control.
When I think of the ‘Just One’ phenomenon I can’t help but laugh. Not because I am being contrived, but because it reminds me of my all-time favourite Monty Python sketch.
It’s the one where Mr. Creosote waddles into the restaurant and continues to vomit over everything, and everyone, whilst the waiter (played by John Cleese) tries to get him to eat a wafer thin mint after he has consumed everything on the menu.
“Finally, monsieur a wafer thin mint?” asks the waiter.
“Nah.” Replies the bursting Creosote.
‘Oh come on sir it’s only a tiny wafer thin one.” Whispers the waiter.
“Fuck off I’m full.” Says Creosote.
“Sir…it’s only wafer thin.” Comes the next whisper.
“I couldn’t eat another thing. I’m absolutely stuffed. Now bugger off.”
The waiter leans forward into his face before teasingly saying: “Just one.”
“Ok just then just one.”
You can see what happens to Mr. Creosote after he ate that tiny wafer thin mint in the video below.
What do you think is the difference between that scene and when a person who is aware of their drinking problem asks for: “Just one glass of champagne?”
They metaphorically explode.
That’s what happens.
I was recently reading a blog post on the Soberista forum where someone was contemplating the difficulty of taking a trip to Spain after being alcohol free for the past 10-days.
“I just can’t image a weekend away AND a birthday without it.” The poster said referring to her impending trip to Barcelona, and her concern over drinking.
And therein lies the key….
Let’s forget all of the chemicals, shmemicals nonsense for a moment and concentrate on good old fashioned societal conditioning. You can’t imagine a weekend away without it because you can’t remember a weekend away without it.
If you live in the UK, and drink alcohol, then going away for a birthday weekend and not drinking would be akin to leaving your passport at home. The two go together like the tricksters in the alcohol industry tell you gin and tonic do.
Are you happy with that?
Are you happy to create stress in your life over a drink of alcohol? A drink that you only take because you have been hard wired to do so by the society you were raised in?
When my cousin got married we celebrated his stag weekend in the Alps. It was the first time I had been skiing and after vomiting 24-times on the piste I decided it would not be a trip that I would be repeating.
I hated everything about that weekend.
This time last year I was fortunate enough to be invited to the ski resort in Breckenridge, Colorado. It was an utterly mesmerising week. I love every minute of it and would gladly become a ski-junkie.
So what was the difference?
I won’t insult your intelligence by even writing an answer.
You drink alcohol because you associate pleasurable experiences with alcohol. I don’t drink alcohol because I associate painful experiences with alcohol. It’s so simple you can be forgiven for missing it.
You will not stop drinking until you understand this fact, and start the hard work needed to reverse the situation.
When you ask if you can have just one drink you are doing so because you believe it offers you some sort of pleasure. It fills a need for you. Can’t you see that the void that a drink fills is the very void created by the want and desire to drink?
I don’t drink because it tastes disgusting, it is poison, it dulls my thoughts, it makes me act like a self-righteous prick, it makes me angry, it makes me verbally abuse those I love, it makes me get behind the wheel of a car and drive, it makes me gamble money I can’t afford to lose, it makes me want to have sex with people I don’t want to have sex with and without protection, it makes me stamp on people’s heads until they lose consciousness, it makes me lose my inhibitions so I lose all sense of risk, it makes me vomit until I produce blood, it makes me bleed from that other hole you don’t like me talking about, it makes me eat tons of shit, it costs me too much money, it takes away time, it makes me a terrible role model, father, husband, it makes me terrible in the sack, it destroys my body, it makes me feel out of control, and it makes me just want to sit and weep like a little baby.
Just one glass of champagne?
And that’s how you do it.
When Hansel and Gretel found the house made of candy I bet they thought it tasted wonderful. Would they have exchanged that slightly sweet, sickly feeling for their prison cell governed by the wicked witch. In hindsight of course not; but they didn’t have the benefit of hindsight.
If you are asking the question, “Just one glass of champagne?” Then you are asking it because you are unsure. You know it’s wrong, you know it has caused you problems in the past…but you ask anyway.
You have the benefit of hindsight and so don’t forget that just one glass of champagne has led to you log on to your computer, type the words “Help me cure my drinking problem” into Google, find Soberista, make an account, read the forums, learn how to create a thread, make your own thread, and then type:
CAN I HAVE JUST ONE GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE?
It’s no different than Renton taking just one hit of heroin. Mother Superior wears many forms of disguises and she has one for alcohol too.
Have you ever seen the movie Sixth Sense starring Bruce Willis and Haley Joel Osment?
He sees dead people…they’re everywhere.
Sorry…completely screwed the movie up for you. Anyway, you should be watching something like The Secret or Hunger for Change and not wasting your time on Bruce Willis.
There is a scene where young Osment sees a young female childlike ghost who keeps vomiting. Initially he is scared shitless, but after a while he learns to understand that she is trying to ask him for help.
Eventually he gets it. Like a light bulb moment. He attends the child’s wake and finds a videotape of her mother poisoning her. She didn’t just ram a bottle of rat poison down her throat, or inject her whilst she slept.
Instead, she just put some of the poison in her food. Just enough that the taste of the rest of the bowl would take enough of it away so she wouldn’t suspect anything.
“Don’t say it tastes funny…I don’t want to hear that.” Says the Mother.
Her mother wanted to keep her daughter sick so she would depend on her Mum.
This is how the alcohol trap works.
The alcohol is the Mother.
It wants to keep you sick.
Wants to keep you needing it’s care and attention.
It fools you by covering the foul taste with societal conditioning, past habits, lemonade, coke, orange juice and anything else with enough sugar in it to keep you from revealing the truth.
And it keeps you hooked by feeding your mind the same old question. The one you just can’t seem to get away from. The one you can’t seem to find the answer for.
“Just one glass of champagne?”