A hundred people are staring at me, smiling. Palms upward, radiating energy. An uncomfortable smile emerges. I focus on the women in front of me. Her China white teeth glisten from the middle of a warm brown tone. I can feel her love. Now I smile. I think I love her. I know she loves me. When the chanting ends she pulls me into her arms and whispers.
This is the most difficult book review I have had to write. If I read this book, several times, over a number of years, each review will be different. On this brightest of days, during the darkest of nights, the best I can do is describe what it means to me today.
When I was young I used to hope that heaven existed because I couldn’t bear the thought of nothingness once the light was extinguished. I am the eldest of four children and the only one never to be christened. I didn’t frequent church and I don’t remember a time that I ever believed in God. But despite being an atheist I did used to pray. I specifically remember praying that Manchester United would win the league, and I also remember praying that when I got older I would have lots of money (well one out of two is not bad). Then there was this: –
Our father in art in heaven, hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them our trespass against us, and deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever, and ever amen.
My mind has been swept away so often in the past few years that I really do need to start being careful. I can get carried away with the words of an author to such a degree that I become an instant believer. I then have a tendency to believe I have then been chosen to pass the information onto as many people as I can. I try to become a master of knowledge that I haven’t even comprehended myself. Then sometimes I come across differing opinions and I get confused. Who is right and who is wrong? Of course, often, there is no right or wrong – simply opinion. The beauty of which is summed up marvelously in memories of two very different books sparked by the death of my Nan.
When my Nan was recently admitted to hospital after suffering a heart attack I assumed that her sand was slowly disappearing down the glass. I was morbidly curious about how she was feeling. I really wanted to know if she feared death, welcomed it or didn’t even think about it? Did she think she was going to meet up with her late husband of 58-years or did she think she was going to close her eyes and that would be that?
Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing – Eckhart Tolle
A lot of people tell me that I am, but in truth, I am not sure what the term actually means. I know I think a lot because I am continuously having little conversations with myself. I have a good understanding of what people mean when they use the word deep. I like to search for the truth and think I have a good nose for bullshit. I ask a lot of questions and keep asking them until I cannot ask anymore. So I can understand how people could view me as being deep. Meaningful is another matter entirely. Do I think that my thinking is meaningful? I used to until I read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and now my view is ready to be changed.