From rock bottom to the highest plateau, Roll changed his life in every conceivable way. There was nothing left of him to roll. I heard his story on the James Altucher podcast; purchased Finding Ultra, The Plantpower Way and subscribed to his podcast. He is now as much a part of my life as coconut water, and just as sweet.
Rewind a few years and had you asked me what being ‘connected’ to my partner meant I would have thought about sex. I was a very one-dimensional being. On the outside, I appeared to care about everyone, but internally all I cared about was myself. I was incapable of empathy because I didn’t understand what it was. I couldn’t hold space for people because I was so desperate to fill it. I was unable to listen because I couldn’t stop talking. When someone close to me talked about their problems I tried to solve them.
The opposite emotions of compassion are hatred, mercilessness, indifference, and cruelty. It sounds harsh, but this is how we can speak to ourselves. Think about this for a minute. When the cruel talk starts we laugh it off, and numb out that unpleasant feeling with a swig of alcohol, eat junk food, or maybe even do the opposite of spending the whole weekend in the gym. This form of punishment takes place when there is no self-compassion.
This week’s question comes from Adriano in Switzerland.
Sometimes my days just seem to blend into a blob.
I stared in the mirror. I had never seen eyes as cruel as the ones that returned fire. What had happened to me? I was falling apart. I could handle that. But my marriage? That was precious. I would not allow my marriage to fall apart. It was time to buy myself a bouquet of dead flowers. I was moving on.
Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins is one of the classic self-help books that have spawned thousands of derivatives. This review is of the abridged audio version of that classic book and I want to start by explaining the difference between an ‘abridged’ version of an audio book and an ‘unabridged’ version, because before I bought this book I didn’t know the difference myself.
Basically, an ‘abridged’ version is an edited version of the real thing. A bite size chunk if you will. Whereas an ‘unabridged’ version is the entire thing. I thought I was buying the entire thing and was left disappointed when the tape stopped running after just 90-minutes. Live and learn. I won’t be making the same mistake twice.
I have stopped smoking, stopping drinking alcohol, stopped gambling, stopped taking drugs, stopped eating rubbish and stopped watching pornography. My life structure is stronger as a result of each of these choices; but each choice came with a sacrifice, each road carried with it several obstacles that were determined to stop me dead in my tracks.
You may know these obstacles as relapse. A word that is banded about when people struggle to create a consistent approach to the creation of new and improved habits. Relapse is an exceptionally important part of the process of creating positive change in your life. If you are capable of moving a destructive habit so far into the back of your mind that it loses it’s ability to see; then all power to you. For the rest of us there is relapse.