This week’s question comes from Peter in Oxford, UK.
Ask Needy Helper Podcast: Episode #10 “Do I Suffer From FOMO When With my Friends Who are Drinking?”
Alcohol turns people into monsters. It doesn’t recognise filters that have been put in situ to help society function. You look different, you smell different, and you act different. Danger is not a word that is in your vocabulary when you are drunk. So how safe are your loved ones from drunken you?
How many of your loved ones are affected by your abuse of alcohol?
A book review on the New York Times Bestseller The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and how it can help recovering alcoholics.
He drives me insane!
The Spirit of Intimacy is the type of book that you spy on your bookshelf and can’t remember how it got there. A moment that makes you want to believe that the universe put it there just for you.
A magical moment.
During my recent trip to Las Vegas, where I worked at the World Series of Poker (WSOP), my gambling habit relapsed. These days I am much more aware when I relapse. I catch the signs earlier, am ready and prepared to contemplate and investigate my actions and determined to make positive changes to reduce the likelihood of it happening again. I am also quick to forgive myself and move on. Sometimes I may even find something new in my internal investigations and Vegas was a classic case in point.
I doubt that this is a 100% male problem, but in my own personal experiences of relationships it seems to be the case in my life. So if you are male I want you to pay particular attention to what I am about to say next, as it could save your relationships from falling apart.
When you make the fundamental decision to change a destructive habit there are going to be casualties of war. The bloody mess will be painted over the hearts of your family and your closest friends. You will become a different person. You will feel like you have improved and have become a more advanced model, but this is not a viewpoint that will be shared by those that love you the most.
One of the often cited excuses for not changing a habit, is the fear of loss associated with the change. Some people have the capability of projecting their change process into the future and seeing how relationships will become damaged by their decisions to try and improve their life.
I bought Wabi Sabi Love by Arielle Ford after the title cropped up so many times during the audio recordings found on The Art of Love Relationship Series.
“Wabi Sabi love is the art and practice of loving the imperfections in ourselves and in our partners. It is not mere acceptance or denial of the things that may annoy us or even drive us crazy but rather a deep and profound appreciation for the uniqueness of each other.” – Arielle Ford.
I got into the car and I had two bananas in my hand. One was for my partner, who was driving the car, and the other was for me. She pulled the stick back and off we went. I pulled back the skin from the banana and started to eat.
“Can you open mine for me as well please?” Asked my partner, and I duly obliged.
Fathers Day should be a celebration of paternalism and love, but for me it’s a day where I am filled with a hollow sadness and an uncomfortable ache. It’s a stark reminder that my inability to manage a broken relationship has terrible consequences.
Divorces are tough sons of bitches, but divorces with children…now that’s the toughest of them all. One day they are there and the next they are gone. It’s the small things that produce the most damaging shards. The silence around the house, the omission of the once-in-a-while glimpse as they run into the kitchen for food and drink before once again disappearing in their bedroom; the bedtime ritual of storytelling, hugs and kisses and the morning ritual of the second kiss – the one where you pause momentarily to take in the beauty, where you tell yourself “I created that,” before kissing him softly on his forehead so you are careful not to wake him.
There are two types of complainers: those that are just mere acquaintances and those that you love. The first bunch is easy to deal with. You just move as far away from them as possible. Pick them off and let them shrivel up and die. Don’t provide them with any attention, and they will eventually run off and infect someone else.