Kristy Arnett is the co-founder of Mentor, a mobile platform that provides on-demand connections between people and mentors via live stream interaction.She is also the founder of Center LLC, a coaching business that empowers people to live vibrant, courageous lives through health, fitness, and emotional intelligence.
Rewind a few years and had you asked me what being ‘connected’ to my partner meant I would have thought about sex. I was a very one-dimensional being. On the outside, I appeared to care about everyone, but internally all I cared about was myself. I was incapable of empathy because I didn’t understand what it was. I couldn’t hold space for people because I was so desperate to fill it. I was unable to listen because I couldn’t stop talking. When someone close to me talked about their problems I tried to solve them.
If I weren’t in the passenger seat I would have crashed the car. My wife is driving. We have somehow managed to get into an argument over nothing. I’m frustrated. I know my defence is making it worse, but the alternative is submission. That’s weakness. I will not be weak.
I bought Wabi Sabi Love by Arielle Ford after the title cropped up so many times during the audio recordings found on The Art of Love Relationship Series.
“Wabi Sabi love is the art and practice of loving the imperfections in ourselves and in our partners. It is not mere acceptance or denial of the things that may annoy us or even drive us crazy but rather a deep and profound appreciation for the uniqueness of each other.” – Arielle Ford.
I got into the car and I had two bananas in my hand. One was for my partner, who was driving the car, and the other was for me. She pulled the stick back and off we went. I pulled back the skin from the banana and started to eat.
“Can you open mine for me as well please?” Asked my partner, and I duly obliged.
Sometimes I scream. A sharp intake, a swell of the chest, a clenched throat and the release of a gravelling tone. My eyes hit the roof of my lids, my neck cranes back and I grip my hair with both of my hands. I don’t know what to do, and I am afraid. The alternatives go through my mind in seconds. By brain processes each one-check…check…check…check…check. Nope, it’s no use. No matter what I do I will cause harm. There is no right way out of this mess. There is just a screw up. I am a screw up.
In my last blog post Learn How to Listen I wrote about the importance of learning better listening skills, because it was such a crucial part of our lives. Well guess what? So is learning how to effectively manage conflict. [Read more…]
Having a pair of ears means you can hear, it does not give you a qualification in the art of listening
We sometimes forget that Homo sapiens are just one of the millions of different types of species that live on this planet. We are sat on the throne, positioned at the top of the evolutionary food chain, and we take the mantle a little bit for granted. The reason that we currently own that throne is because we somehow managed to turn everyday grunts, howls and screams into words – both verbal and written.