Book 19 of 52: Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton

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I was in work, last week, when I got involved in a discussion with a respected colleague about telling the truth. I have always taken pride in my own personal view that I always tell the truth. Interestingly, some of my close friends believe that I do it too often and that some thing’s are better of left unheard. My colleague, whose name is Sarah, advised me not to change, and to continue telling the truth. She grabbed my notepad and wrote the words RADICAL HONESTY on it, “Buy that book because it changed my life,” she said.

Before I traveled to Las Vegas to work at the World Series of Poker (WSOP) I stopped off in Los Angeles to meet my girlfriend’s family. While I was there she gave me twelve books to read and one of them was Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton.  Was this a pure coincident? Who cares, when incidents like these present themselves I go with the direction I am being pushed and this is how this book became my nineteenth book of the year.

So what did I think of Radical Honesty?

Buy it and buy it now! Don’t even read the rest of this review, just go straight to the bottom and click on the hyperlink. Brad Blanton is not only an intelligent man, but he is also hilarious. His writing style is full of wit and honesty, and I really associated with it. It is important for me to relate to the author of a self-help type of book. I need to be sure that he understands me and Blanton did. I can’t remember the last time I read so many passages to my girlfriend and said, “this bloke is reading my mind.”

I thought this book would just sell the virtues of telling the truth, but telling the truth is only a part of what this book is about. It screams of a man obsessed with changing the world. There are moments where you think you are listening to Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield or any of the coaches from the Landmark Forum, and Blanton is quick to praise all of these people. He believes that together they are forming a movement with an intention to change the world, and I want to hop on the bus. What I dearly like about Blanton’s work is he delves into the area of childhood and parenting more than any other writer I have stumbled upon. Only last week I was complaining about the lack of literature on fatherhood (when I wrote Book 18 of 52: Where Were You When I Needed You Dad? A Guide For Healing Our Father Wound by Jane Myers Drew) when lo and behold along comes Blanton.

The book supplies you with plenty of exercises designed to create a future, using lessons learned from the past. It is also contains an amazing bibliography of reference material and each time I read it I felt a happiness come over me. I have found the book to be a real morale booster and I cannot wait to read his next book about parenting. Most of all I love the way Blanton has realised that if positive change is going to made in this world of ours then we need to change the way our children think. The children are the next generation and therefore that’s where our teachings should start.

Comments

  1. ok ok, I’ll get today now you’ve sold it to me !!! Sounds awesome.

    What is his other book on parenting ? I keep having domestics with my ex in front of my kids. It doesn’t matter who’s fault it is these start, I hate having them to the point I almost cried last night in front of them and her through shear frustration and that our quarrels can only be damaging them. Yet at the same time will not be made out to be something I’m not or have accusations thrown at me that are wrong or untrue. I feel I have to defend myself, but do I do it right ?

    Also, I’m trying to help my housemate who I feel is depressed and on the road to detruction but I am awful at trying to get what I’m trying to say accross. So many of these books I feel would help him but he comes back with things I cannot counter, like what is this book trying to achieve ? I know this blah blah blah so what is this book doing ? He’s obviously at that, To scared (subconsciously) to change IMO as he feels being a nice guy is enough. Being similar and still getting shit on and divorced I’ve realised this aint true. You haven’t got to change from being a nice guy but to get some understanding about things helps.

    Cheers
    Coggy

    • Lee Davy says:

      Hi Martin,

      I have been exactly where you are my friend, and for your child’s sake you really do need to take some positive action to sort it out. When I first realised how damaging this was to my child I created a set of affirmations, which I read to myself each morning (such as I am a great father and I will not argue with my wife in front of my child). I created them because my mind needed help to change the way I reacted. This reduced the number of instances but did not totally clear them up.

      Then I went on the Landmark Forum and learned about rackets (in fact I will write a blog post about them for you). I realised that it was me who was hurting my child because I wanted to defend my need to be right. Once you drop this notion then you cannot argue with your ex-wife (or anyone else for that matter). So I have learned that it is not a question of “defending yourself the right way” but a case of “not defending yourself at all”.

      Lastly, you need to have an honest chat with your ex wife. You need to write down all of your failings as a partner (honestly) and you need to apologise to her, ask for forgiveness and offer her a possibility for a new beginning. This may be to become friends or just to agree not to argue in front of your children and to be civil to each other. But you need to be authentic and honest. She needs to be able to feel that what you are saying is the truth. Then if she still refuses to forgive you then you move on. You put it to rest and get on with the rest of your life. You cannot force someone to forgive you or even like you, so you have to come to terms with that fact.

      I have the same problems that you do (when it comes to friends who need help but won’t take it). In fact it is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. My only advice would be to become a great listener. Your friend will really appreciate this. Purchase the book People Skills by Robert Bolton and use the teachings in that book to become a better listener for your friend. It will also teach you how to handle conflict with your ex as well.

      Thanks the comments.

  2. This looks like a great book. Thanks for the recommendation. However, the book in the “Buy” box appears to be a sequel? Have you read both?

    • Lee Davy says:

      Hi Ellen,

      I have just clicked on the ‘buy’ button myself and can confirm that is the book I read and to which the review refers. I am, however, going to try and track down his book on parenting and will read that one soon.

      Regards

      Lee

  3. Impressive review and I” have to check out Blanton’s book. Thanks so much!

  4. Lee, this reminds me of a book I read recently called “Simplicity” by Mindy Caliguire. Just as you could relate to Blanton, I could relate to Caliguire. She writes from a similar background and mindset as my own. When I first saw the title, I thought it was “simplicity” as in reducing clutter/possessions. Then I heard her on a talk show and she explained her take on simplicity as the opposite of duplicity – being on the outside who you are on the inside. (Of course, I bought her book and others in her “Soul Care” series.) Many of us grew up in a community where outward appearances where paramount. Duplicity was the norm. Thankfully, the tide is changing.

    One thing that has always impressed me about you, Lee, is your vulnerability. You are willing to share what’s happening on the inside. Not everyone has the courage to do so – to be deeply honest. For anyone seeking to help others, this vulnerability is critical. Go, Lee!

    • Lee Davy says:

      Hi Peggi,

      I have just added Simplicity to my ‘books to buy’ collection. Thanks for your kind words and support as always.

      Lee

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